The Return of Roxanne

The second time Roxanne came to me I wasn’t even surprised. I was already one wine bottle deep and halfway towards drowning myself in the second. I heard her come in. The same infuriating rhythmic clicking of her heels against the hardwood floor. What now Roxy I thought to myself. I didn’t turn around as she came through the doorway and slowly sat down on the couch in front of me.

“Arnt’cha happy to see me?” No. I am definitely not happy to see you right now. I would like to wallow in my own misery. Alone.

She began to pout when she realized that I was pissed and didn’t want anything to do with her at the moment. Drop the damn puppy dog eyes. It won’t work. I hate you. You and your little red dress, your pin- up model makeup. Your annoyingly peppy voice.

“Just go away” I exclaimed in exasperation.

Recently I had found myself turning to the nearest wine bottle for relief from my misery. It seemed to be happening quite a lot lately- with each deadline came more restless nights and even more trips to the liquor store.

With every compliment I gave Roxy in my writings, my hatred for her grew worse. At first I couldn’t figure out why I felt this way, until I realized that I was jealous of her. Jealous of the perfect little vixen I had created. She was everything that I didn’t see in myself. She did everything that I couldn’t bring myself to do. Men loved her, women wanted to be her. Everything was so easy in the life of Roxanne; she was perfect.

And now here she was again, standing so faultlessly in front of me, mocking the fact that I couldn’t stand her.

I should have been an alcoholic. At least I’m good at it I thought to myself as I slowly swirled the wine glass, bringing it up to my lips to polish off what was left. If I hadn’t started writing, I wouldn’t be in this spot. I wouldn’t have to care. Fuck you Roxy. I should just kill you off in my next chapter. As much as I wanted her to go away, I couldn’t bear the thought of her disappearing forever.

At least not yet.

“Too much alcohol is bad for you ya know” Roxanne piped up in that softly irritating voice of hers.

“Shut up Roxy!” I yelled as I threw the empty glass at her- but with my inebriation, it bounced off the coffee table and landed in pieces at her feet. You’re what’s bad for me.

Looking slightly offended, Roxy daintily nudged the broken shards of glass towards me with the toe of her red high heel. “You should clean that up before you step on it” she said lightly. Ugh. She never raised her voice back at me. So annoying. At least fight me or do something to make yourself a little less perfect.

As I cleaned up my mess, I could feel her eyes following my every move. “What is wrong with you today?” she asked, sounding thoroughly fed up with me at this point.

“Roxy, I haven’t slept. I can’t write. I’ve been in these sweats for the past three days.” Roxy shuddered at the thought. Spoiled bitch probably hasn’t ever been in the same outfit twice in her life I thought to myself.

As I returned from the kitchen, Roxy wrinkled her nose when I stomped by. “Go take a shower” she snickered. “You stink.”

I sighed and slouched farther down into the couch. It had been a rough week.

I closed my eyes, exhaustion was finally setting in. I was still feeling drunk, but I was also beginning to feel bad for her. After all, the only reason she existed was because of me. I brought her here, but now all I want is for her to disappear.

I must have dozed off because when I opened my eyes it was considerably darker out. The next thing I noticed was my pounding head and the remains of my food attempting to regurgitate in my mouth. “Here’s some water and Advil” Roxy said as she sauntered back in the room.

Crap. I’m hungover, and she’s still here.

I groaned out loud as I buried myself back in the pillows. I felt like death.

“That’s what you get for going on a four day drinking binge, silly” she gleefully exclaimed, knowing that she was right. “Roxy, this is not what I need right now” I mumbled, I just want to go back to sleep. “Not a chance in hell” she forcefully replied. “We are going out. You are a mess and you need to get cleaned up so that we can have a girl’s night.”

I snorted at the thought. “Seriously, Roxy” I tried to explain. “I may see you and hear you, but other people can’t. You don’t exist outside of my own mind. I am not taking my imaginary friend to a bar with me for the night. People will think I’m crazy.”

She raised her eyebrow at me and burst out laughing. “You really have no imagination do you” she sarcastically pointed out as she pulled me off the couch and dragged me towards the bathroom. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything.” I surrendered to her, sitting on the toilet seat as I closed my eyes and let her take over. I may as well enjoy getting a free makeover.

“Are you ready?” Roxy’s voice echoed inside of my head. I must have dozed off again. She sounded so far away. Feeling dazed, I felt myself slowly coming back to reality. Something felt wrong. Maybe I inhaled too much hairspray. I looked around, unable to find Roxy.

As I turned to face the mirror, panic set in as I felt the inside of my stomach drop to my knees. I gawked at the person staring back at me from the mirror.

It was Roxy.


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